The Big Picture

Do any of you start dreading Sunday by Saturday afternoon? I do. Not such a great attitude for what should be a spiritual filled day of faith and learning and renewal, I know. But I think if you have kids you probably know what I'm talking about.

Also, this is one the big reasons I don't want any more girls! Two little heads of hair is enough for me, the Lord knows I can't just let them go to church looking all shaggy, it's just against my laws of public appearance and I certainly can't take doing any more hair.

Any way, (Wow, I almost just typed 'any-who'! I hate, hate, hate when people say that!) Sunday's for me start out with the fact that I often stayed up too late on Saturday night. And generally everyone needs a shower because I forgot to do that last night too. Then it's a fight with Jena over what she will where to church that day. Generally it's all about the shoes. She has like 10 pairs and she puts on every pair except the ones that match. I swears she knows and just does it to see me unravel.

Next is the fact that Ryan can dress himself perfectly on his own every other day of the week but Sunday. He needs help buttoning his pants, his shirt, his clip on tie, he can't put on his socks or his shoes. Essentially he becomes a 1 year old on Sunday mornings.

Sara of course is the same old, same old but lately her little hand has become attached to my leg and by darned if I can get anything done in a timely manner with a 3rd appendage on my lower half. Add in the fact that she feels the need to scream at everyone lately and I feel like my head is going to spin off my body.

The screaming thing has me thinking too. When Ry and Jena were little I was a bit of a yeller. Looking back now I'm sure I had some Post-Pardom Depression issues, but working full time with 2 kids under 20 months I was just coping. Anyway, I always thought Ry and Jena became yellers because they of course learned it from me. Now with a bit of counseling under my belt I was able to recognize that after Sara was born I was quickly loosing control by the day and I was not about to become the screaming lunatic I was a few years back. Thankfully the Anti-depressant my OB/GYN put me on has been so great with pretty much no bad side effects. The point being, I'm not a yeller anymore. Don't get me wrong I have my moments and my days, but sometimes I'm so darn calm I surprise myself. That said, where did Sara get this yelling/screaming thing from? So maybe they all just came with it? All 3 kids, that's their personality? All of them have such a temper! This is so off the subject of which I intended, sorry.

So, Sunday's right. You might be asking, Where is the significant other during all of this morning rush for 9am church? Well, generally he's in bed or in the shower. See he doesn't really function before he showers and he showers for seriously like 20 minutes. It's sort of ridiculous. But after 8 years, I know that there is no changing it. So in the unlikely event that he is up and showered before me on Sunday morning, I'm pretty much on my own.

Add to Sunday the fact that Sara takes her screaming to church with her and I'm to the point where I wonder why I even go. We spend most of Sacrament meeting in the foyer so she isn't hyping up the other 2 kiddos. And the next 2 hours of Sunday School I spend trying to keep her out of other ladies purses and out from under everyones chairs or I'm chasing her to the front of the room while she giggles hysterically. And so we spend most of the next 2 hours in the hall. Barry teaches the 5-6 year olds so he's no help there. But I have to say, I'm glad I'm not teaching the 5-6 year olds!

So here is my sad but true confession. Sara and I come home after the 1st hour. I put Sara down for her nap and I play Mario Galaxy on the Wii. Yup, the Nintendo is providing my weekly spiritual enlightenment. I know I should be reading my scriptures or something, anything else, but my frustration from not being able to stay at church brings out a bit of a stubborn streak in me and so I play the Wii. And drink lots of Pepsi. Then I go take a nap with Sara. By the time I wake up I'm in a better mood but it's got to change people.

Unfortunately, I'm a person who easily looses sight of the big picture. I find myself just going from day to day just trying to get through. I'm focused on the kids, Barry's school, the fact that I've got to go back to work soon, the laundry, dinner, whatever. But not enough about the Gospel. I've let family prayers slack, scripture study is not happening as often as it should, Family Home Evening is not even a thought in the week.

So here is to re-evaluating, re-focusing, and re-commitmenting to keep myself and my family on track and focused on the big picture and what really matters in life!

Wish me luck!