Patting myself on the back

I took the kids to the parade on Monday. All by myself.  Yep.   Barry had worked all night, I didn't feel great but I took them anyway.  I told myself to just chill and let them be kids.  I have a tendency to be bossy, controlling, nit picking their every move.  I know, you can hardly believe it, but it's true.

So I set up my chairs and let the kids play and run and grab candy and in that whole hour I told them to move back off the street maybe 3 times.  Because letting them get run over by parade floats is too laid back, just so you know.  I had blue and green Popsicle stained arms and my shirt was covered in water spills and tootsie roll drool. All proof that Sara and Jake had a great time

It did not go un-noticed that the women sitting behind me was in full Nazi mom mode. Her poor kids couldn't blink right despite their efforts and believe me, they were making valiant efforts.  I don't point this out to be judgy or rude, I do so because I watch these women knowing full well that I do the same thing.  It reminds me of how ridiculous they/me/we are when we expect this perfect behavior from our children.

I sat their listening to her tell her daughter how she couldn't have any candy because she had made them late and now they had to sit in the back and she couldn't go in front with the other kids because that was 'rude'. (I love run on sentences and I hated English class. Can you tell?)  Honestly lady? You bring your 3 children to a parade and tell them they must sit and watch and not get one piece of candy?   I told my kids they needed to make sure all the kids around them got candy too and they did. Ryan was handing it out to this woman's children until finally she let them off their chairs to participate in the parade.

When the parade was over she thank me and the kids for sharing with her children. Then she went on and on about how patient I am with my kids and how well behaved they are.  I laughed at how untrue that must be.  And then I proceeded to pat myself on the back. I had been very patient and calm.  I am a different mother today than I was 9 years ago.  Poor Ryan, he did not have a patient mom. Even by Jena I was so uptight.  Sara had it pretty good and now Jake....that kid walks all over us!

You know what happened the next morning? Crazy, psycho controlling mom.  Yep she showed up yesterday and camped out all morning.  In the midst of blaming all of the children for the crap-tastic morning several things occurred to me.  Little bits of wisdom that I wish I'd known almost 10 years ago and I still forget today.

• If your 4 year old wants to scoop the chocolate milk into the cup, let her. It will take you less time to clean up the mess than it will to get her to stop crying because you told her no.  It will also help her get better at it and she will be happy.
• You know the saying 'When momma ain't happy, no body's happy'? Well, when the 4 year old ain't happy, no body's happy!  Make the 4 year old happy!
• Don't wake up you kids with 'time to wake up...make your bed, get dressed, do this, do that....'  Take 5 whole minutes to love on them, even if you're late already.  Grumpy kids aren't going to move fast.  Happy ones will at least try.
• Some mornings a bag of chocolate chips is a perfectly acceptable breakfast.  It's true.

Somewhere along the road I decided my kids would have rules and respect and never walk all over me. And while that is still true, I have learned that letting them be in charge of the small things is ok. It's good for them and it's good for me.  I have to constantly remind myself to not be such a control freak!  Self sufficient children must be allowed to learn and when they are allowed, they are happy.

This post is more for me than anyone else.  Sometimes I have to write things out in order to remember them.  I'm gonna email this to myself every morning. I forget way to easily.

From a lucky girl