Playing Favorites

You know that fart sound that you make by sticking your tongue out and blowing? Well pretend I know how to spell that sound and that it is also the title of this post.

Today is my birthday and I'm having a bit of a pity party for one.  In hopes to cheer myself up I started going through pictures in iPhoto. It appears that I may have a favorite child lately...

This little boy has me wrapped around his finger.  He is pulls every last ounce of energy out of me everyday and just when I want to scream and run he does something hysterical or adorable and the worst part is he knows I can't resist him.  I'm starting to understand how mothers become overly attached to their last child.

In the last month we started potty training and he has done fantastic. The first week we were in the basement cleaning up toys when I bent over and like an awesome old women ripped a pretty good one. Jake looked at me surprised and said 'Mamma you poop like me!' Laughing pretty hard I told him no, I just farted. He started laughing hysterically and sayings 'Mamma you stinky!'

He pretty much makes the everyday mundane things fun and interesting. 

Love you Jakey!

 

Parenting Styles

CJane posted about her Easy Style Parenting last week and it really got me thinking.  I am much the same way and always have been.  When Ryan was born Barry was the one running around like a crazy person, worrying about every little thing and I was more laid back. That is until I about had a mental breakdown because I started second guessing myself. Maybe I should be more like him, maybe I'm not a good mom, maybe I need to worry more and not be so strict.  I got over it quickly.

The funny thing is I would describe myself as both more laid back parent and the more uptight parent, it just depends on what parenting aspect we're talking about.
I don't run to my childs side every time they fall.  I used to think maybe something was wrong with me, my mother was constantly gasping and having heart siezing attacks every time one of my children would so much as waver in balance and I was completely unaffected.  Having a boy for my first child did not affect me in the least. He could have blood dripping down his face and my heart beat wouldn't so much as speed one extra beat.  My kids learned early that if they wanted lots of drippy simpathy than they better find Daddy.  I'm happy to bandage and wipe away tears, hug, kiss and send you on your merry way to go play some more.  Barry is happy to cuddle and ooooo and ahhhh and all that extra stuff.

However if you want to get my heart racing just try and cross me when it comes to daily chores and routine around the house.  My kids have daily jobs and weekly jobs. I expect homework done immediatly after school. I expect respect and manners. I am the drill sargaent at home, Barry not so much.  He thinks he expects it, he likes that I expect it, but he's way to soft to enforce it.  He claims he grew up with it but was always got away with not doing it. Which is not a surprise. His mother is still that way. I see no sense in spouting expectations and rules and not enforcing them.

I'm not really sure why I'm going into all this other than having just read an article about this and it has my head spinning with frustrations and resolve to do better myself.  I tend to think I'm an 'old school' style parent.  I love my kids, I want them to be happy but I don't intend to make them happy or find their happiness for them.  I think one of the best things I can do for them is to teach them to live in the real world.  You have to work, you must know how to deal with disappointment, you must have a sense of humor, you must learn to make your own choice and deal with it when you have no choice.  I think the hardest part of it all is teaching it while still learning it myself and teaching it with love and patience.

I'm currently in the process of regaining routine and order from a summer of slothfullness on my part.  There is nothing I love more than a good routine with scheduled times to do nothing.  And my children have lived that way since birth so when we let the routine go, everything else goes with it, respect, disapline, good attitudes. And what replaces it is entitlement, selfishness, argueing...  I find when I stop expecting my kids to be active parts of the family and house  than they stop being as good as they can be.  So it doesn't matter how many times I hear that 'so and so doesn't have jobs', it makes no difference to me, my kids will always have jobs and be expect to have one at 16 and pull their own weight and I don't expect they will stop complaining about it any time soon.

From a lucky girl

Patting myself on the back

I took the kids to the parade on Monday. All by myself.  Yep.   Barry had worked all night, I didn't feel great but I took them anyway.  I told myself to just chill and let them be kids.  I have a tendency to be bossy, controlling, nit picking their every move.  I know, you can hardly believe it, but it's true.

So I set up my chairs and let the kids play and run and grab candy and in that whole hour I told them to move back off the street maybe 3 times.  Because letting them get run over by parade floats is too laid back, just so you know.  I had blue and green Popsicle stained arms and my shirt was covered in water spills and tootsie roll drool. All proof that Sara and Jake had a great time

It did not go un-noticed that the women sitting behind me was in full Nazi mom mode. Her poor kids couldn't blink right despite their efforts and believe me, they were making valiant efforts.  I don't point this out to be judgy or rude, I do so because I watch these women knowing full well that I do the same thing.  It reminds me of how ridiculous they/me/we are when we expect this perfect behavior from our children.

I sat their listening to her tell her daughter how she couldn't have any candy because she had made them late and now they had to sit in the back and she couldn't go in front with the other kids because that was 'rude'. (I love run on sentences and I hated English class. Can you tell?)  Honestly lady? You bring your 3 children to a parade and tell them they must sit and watch and not get one piece of candy?   I told my kids they needed to make sure all the kids around them got candy too and they did. Ryan was handing it out to this woman's children until finally she let them off their chairs to participate in the parade.

When the parade was over she thank me and the kids for sharing with her children. Then she went on and on about how patient I am with my kids and how well behaved they are.  I laughed at how untrue that must be.  And then I proceeded to pat myself on the back. I had been very patient and calm.  I am a different mother today than I was 9 years ago.  Poor Ryan, he did not have a patient mom. Even by Jena I was so uptight.  Sara had it pretty good and now Jake....that kid walks all over us!

You know what happened the next morning? Crazy, psycho controlling mom.  Yep she showed up yesterday and camped out all morning.  In the midst of blaming all of the children for the crap-tastic morning several things occurred to me.  Little bits of wisdom that I wish I'd known almost 10 years ago and I still forget today.

• If your 4 year old wants to scoop the chocolate milk into the cup, let her. It will take you less time to clean up the mess than it will to get her to stop crying because you told her no.  It will also help her get better at it and she will be happy.
• You know the saying 'When momma ain't happy, no body's happy'? Well, when the 4 year old ain't happy, no body's happy!  Make the 4 year old happy!
• Don't wake up you kids with 'time to wake up...make your bed, get dressed, do this, do that....'  Take 5 whole minutes to love on them, even if you're late already.  Grumpy kids aren't going to move fast.  Happy ones will at least try.
• Some mornings a bag of chocolate chips is a perfectly acceptable breakfast.  It's true.

Somewhere along the road I decided my kids would have rules and respect and never walk all over me. And while that is still true, I have learned that letting them be in charge of the small things is ok. It's good for them and it's good for me.  I have to constantly remind myself to not be such a control freak!  Self sufficient children must be allowed to learn and when they are allowed, they are happy.

This post is more for me than anyone else.  Sometimes I have to write things out in order to remember them.  I'm gonna email this to myself every morning. I forget way to easily.

From a lucky girl

Because He Can!

Living with Jacob is like being in a race.  

Constantly trying to keep up with this one year old is practically impossible! 

The problem is, he is so happy and endearing you can hardly get mad at the little stinker!

Here are a few of his favorite tricks.

Helping load and unload the dishwasher.

He is very efficient at taking the racks completely out should you need him to....or not.

Do not leave food anywhere! He will find it, grab it and refuse to let go!  I don't know how he eats so much but he is eating every half hour and if you are eating, he is eating.

Sara made the mistake of leaving her cinnamon toast crunch unattended.

He's not picky...bowl, chair, floor...it's all edible.

 We discovered recently that Jake can climb chairs no problem.  However, he's a little short getting down and doesn't dare drop the last 4 inches. Therefore he thinks he is stuck once he's up.

This comes in REALLY handy!

When I've had enough I put him on the chair, move it to the middle of the room and he is completely contained!

On this particular day he stayed on that chair while I swept, mopped, mixed and cooked cupcakes and cleaned then entire kitchen! It was about 40 minutes. He was happy for about 35 of those minutes. 

He had drinks and snacks and toys that he threw and Sara brought back to him. Sara danced and sang and entertained him.  Then he was done.  He has started catching onto my chair torture and only puts up with it for 10-15 minutes at a time now. However he still won't get down! :)

This is Jakes FAVORITE place to be!  Seriously if he's missing, you will find him here. (or outside if someone left the door open-that's a new problem.)

He will just climb right up and sit there happy as can be. I think his main goal is food but he's just as happy if he finds nothing too. 

He also loves to climb into his high chair. I'm sure he's going to have some sort of head injury by two years old.  That's his 'Hi Mom!' Wave.

In the words of my own Mother and aunts....

He's a cute little Sh*t!

From a lucky girl

When the kids go to bed

I love that...

Sara Asks to go bed and has to find that one corner of her blanket, pull it up to her chin and rub the hem.

Jena curls into a ball, turns sideways on the top third of the bed and falls asleep in 3.7 seconds flat.

jake an hour old

Jake wants to be wrapped like a tight burrito and the moment you lay him down he rolls to his side, arches his back and throws his head back like it's the most natural way to sleep.

Ryan pulls the blanket up over his head with his feet sticking 12" out the bottom and sings to himself as if no one can hear.

From a lucky girl

The escape artist

These pictures are all a few months old but this child is killing me! There is pretty much nothing that can keep him contained.

First he could climb right out of the Bumbo at 6 months.

I thought this was great while I tried to do the dishes. That is until we almost had and head first dive to the floor.

Next was the walker. He quickly figured out how to put his foot on those side cross bars and climb right out of it!

He also pulled out Ryan's bottom two dresser drawers and managed to climb into the second drawer. This I did not witness, I just discovered him happily throwing all the underwear on the floor.

I forgot how busy boys are!

Cute little Turds!

From a lucky girl

Jake's Quilt...no it's still not done!

Remember when I made Jake's crib bedding? I was gonna take a picture and show you, oops. I still don't have one either. :) But I really need to finish his quilt now that fall is coming and he's big enough to use it.    I have a problem though. I'm wavering on the pattern.   I have it all cut out for one pattern but it could work for another I saw recently.  They are both very simple but I just can't decide.  Help! #1 I was going to make it like this one I made for my friend Lindsey's little boy. I love this quilt but I'm having second thoughts on the raw edges of the squares. OR #2 The Pure Baby Boy quilt by TeaGinny. It's very simple but I really like it. Ok, tell me what ya think!

A More Real Love Story

Just after I posted this Melissa called and told me to go watch this. And Melissa, you're right, laughter and tears cause it's all too real!

you are magnificent

Today nothing out of the orndinary happened. In fact it was an absolutely normal day. So why was it so hard? Does anyone else ever feel like a broken record as a mother? Some days the repetion of teaching my children what I feel they must have learned by now but clearly have not just pushes me over that ledge. You know the one I'm talking about.
And then I find this-



And I put down the spoon of whip cream that I am feeding to my emotions (no joke) and cry.  I am so incredibly blessed and greatful to have The Gospel in my life and to know that The Lord is blessing me at my most difficult times.

Jacob's Blessing

We Blessed Jake on April 4th. It was in the midst of all the other wedding and funeral craziness! We did it at home on Conference weekend since all of our family was here already. Plus is was Jena, Teri, Michelle and Richards birthdays. um, yeah. I can't believe how big he's getting! I bought his outfit before he was born and it probably wouldn't have fit him a week later. Jake and Daddy. Waving Hello! ;) Love those toes all scrunched up! I wish I had a picture of everyone that was there but I couldn't find my camera until almost everyone was gone.  Does anyone see a pattern there? I'm telling you, I have daily occurrences that re-confirm that I am done have children! I'd probably forget to brush my teeth if I didn't have it on my 'to do list'! We sure are happy we have this little guy though! He gets more love than I'm sure he wants from his brother and sisters! We Love You Jacob!

my little jock

Ryan is pretty determined to play every sport possible and his latest was basketball. He got to play on a team of boys that was all pretty much from our ward. It was fun to go watch the boys play, they have a lot to learn and they didn't even keep score (which really bugs the competitive side of me) but it will be fun to see them play next year now that they have some experience.   He finally let us cut his hair and we cut off 2 inches!  Now he thinks his faux-hawk is pretty awesome. He also thinks he's pretty funny!  I'm not sure where he learned this PeeWee Herman impression but it completely surprised me when he walked in doing it and I laughed my butt off! (lmao...teri that's for you) Here he is at the Blue and Gold banquet last month with his Arrow of Light Cake. He loves scouts. I'm one of the Den leaders and it has been good for me to see him around the boys his age.  I think I push my kids pretty hard and expect a lot out of them and it's good to see what great kids I really do have.  He's a typical 8 year old that has more energy than he knows what to do with but he is also respectful to adults, helpful and caring to the other boys and really try's to do what is right.  He is also getting straight A's and reading at a 6th grade level! Woo Hoo! I'm lucky to have such a great son! Love you Ry!

From a lucky girl

Welcome Baby Jacob!

Better late than never, right? Jacob Enoch Hansen January 25th at 10:38 pm! Yes he took the whole freaking day to get here!  Sooo like my children!

7lbs 10oz and he arrived screaming at the top of his lungs! Very funny, but can you blame him?  The very excited Brother and Sisters!  Just arrived home.  I love this picture! He looks like a little Tibetan Baby...or an elf. ;) He had me worried with the screaming entrance but he has been a very mellow baby. Big Sister, she adores him but still isn't terribly interested in him. I think I've said before that she hasn't been very enthusiastic from the beginning so this didn't surprise me a bit.  I say this because everyone keeps expecting her to be the 'caretaker' big sister and really that role goes to Ryan.  Not that there is anything wrong with that. 1 1/2 Weeks old The poor guy got an eye infection at 2 weeks. He has stayed little for so long and that has been fun. Ryan and Jena were both 14lbs at 2 months and Sara was 12lbs.  Jake was only 10lbs 5oz, but I have noticed he has really started to grow this past week or so.  He Loves to be swaddled as tight as can be and it only took me having 4 children to learn the BEST way to swaddle a baby so they don't wiggle their arms out. Thanks Teri! Seriously it's so good I might just do a picture tutorial one of these days.   I'd have given anything to have known how to do this with Ryan! This picture just reminds me so much of Ry because they both yawn with one eye closed. This one makes me laugh too but it's shows his cute little face shape. The first time I caught his smile on camera at 1 1/2 months. Jake loves to lay in his crib and look at the star fabric on his bumper pads. I didn't give this one thought when I made them but apparently babies love high contrast things when they are new.  I don't really listen much to all the expert advice like that until someone points it out to me.  Because I pretty much know everything...;) hehehe...that's for you mom. This was taken today right after he ate and right before he barfed it all over my couch.  You'd think I'd learn! His is still a pretty mellow baby.  He loves to be upright and is very wiggly. He is getting into a good sleep routine of 9-3 and 3:30-6ish so I can't really complain to much.  Having a baby is so fun and so much work, but  We Adore Him!